The Email: My Mother’s Ode.
**This is the email I received from my mother awhile ago**
Do you remember when you first left the house? It was shortly after 9/11 and what happened didn’t deter you from leaving and finding your own way. I remember we lived in Fall Horrors (LOL!) and I cried and cried because you left the nest, and didn’t land in a closer nest, you took a big leap and flew a long ways away. (The memory of that time made my eyes tear over) you may forget the day exactly how it was but the sadness for me must still be there otherwise I don’t know why I’m crying.. well sniveling =)
Last night when I got back from dropping you off I felt the same exact way. Maybe if you moved to Taunton or Salem - some place I can get to within an hours ride from home I wouldn’t feel like this. I almost felt like I needed to wail for a little bit. I don’t mean wail like I lost my momma - but wail because my little big bird took flight again. And that is a good thing, I’m not trying to make you feel bad or sad. I am just sharing my current state of mind with you.
I had just finished eating dinner and Mark-Anthony sat next to me and asked me how I was feeling about you leaving (he said he didn’t think you would do it)…
I swallowed the lump on my throat and cleared my throat and told him how I felt. I said that I was feeling a little bit emotional, and somewhat confused. But that I was happy you finally got back out there to find and make your own way. Google Maps says you are about 400+ miles away. And I truly hope and pray you find your place there.
Back to Mark-Anthony, he said he hopes you are safe there because he seen First 48 and he’s seen some crime there. He said he would hate to have go there and beat someone up if they hurt you. So in the end this makes me smile because it means your brother does love you. =)
I know our relationship isn’t like Lorelai and Rory - But even they had a rough patch which only seems fair since their relationship seemed too good to be true. Although in a lesser modern way my relationship to my mother was ideal with no flaws in it. So it does happen that you can have a perfect relationship to your mother. But that is chemistry, most of the world has to work at having good relationships not just with parents but with family. So I hope one day soon we can be as we used to be once upon a time. But even if we never get back to that I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and I hope that you soar in your new location and place in life.